Nerves of a Substitute

There are a few things I want to talk about in this blog post. Last time I talked a lot about myself and why I know so much about how people learn differently. This time I want to talk about my experience being a substitute, technology, and the respect between students and teachers that I have observed while volunteering. While these are my own opinions, I don’t expect everyone to agree with me and in no way should you think that what I say is correct.

The first topic I want to share is my experience as a substitute.  The teacher I was a substitute for is the teacher I have been helping for five years now.  She is also the teacher I observe for my math activities class. The Friday before I was a substitute I asked what each of the classes would be doing so I had an idea of what I would need to do.  She has an Algebra II A class, 2 Algebra II classes, and 2 Algebra II B classes. Three of her five classes had a test so those were no big deal. However, she was not sure what her two Algebra II B classes were going to be doing yet.  She also warned me about each of her classes and told me which ones I might have trouble with.  I am the type of person who gets nervous about almost everything so not knowing if I would have to teach or just hand out a worksheet did not help my nerves.  The night before I was a substitute I received an email with the lesson and a text from the teacher.  I found out that I would have to teach her Algebra II B classes a lesson which was something I had never done before. I have never taught an entire lesson to a class all by myself.  The only time I have every taught something was one on one with a student.  Let’s just say when I found out I was teaching I may have had a freak out moment. I looked at the lesson she sent me so that I could refresh my memory of the topic. The lesson was on logarithmic functions as inverses. Reading over the notes I felt pretty confident I could teach it but again, I have never taught a class.  I continued to text the teacher asking questions about her classes to make sure I had all the information I needed. She continued to try to get me to not be so nervous. I read over the notes one last time and decided to go to bed… or in this case lay in my bed for a couple hours and still think about the fact I had to teach.

            The next morning, I woke up more nervous than the night before. I knew I could do it but I had to get over this fear. I packed a lunch and headed out the door leaving myself plenty of time to get there. Once I was at the school I knew I had an hour to calm my nerves because she has 1^st hour prep.  I talked to a few other teachers who all told me I would do great.  During first hour I decided to get the notes ready for each of the classes so that all I had to do was go through each example. As time went by I didn’t notice my nerves as much but still had the thought in the back of my mind.  All of the sudden with five minutes’ left there was a fire drill. I definitely jumped a little bit because I was not expecting the alarm to go off and it was silent in her room. Once second hour started I introduced myself and had everyone start on their test. Once I got that first introduction over with I was fine. Then third hour came; time to teach. Again I introduced myself trying to make it long enough to take up time but short enough so that I had time to teach the lesson. The second I was teaching I felt as though a weight was lifted off my shoulders.  It was definitely not as hard as I thought it was going to be but I knew what I wanted to change before I taught sixth hour.  Once sixth hour came I was no longer nervous to teach. I knew what I was doing and was ready to take on anything.  When school was over I was able to look back on the day and I realized that I wasn’t nervous at all once I got into the lesson. I was no longer scared of talking in front of the whole class and I am realizing even now while writing this that I can teach. Now that is not to say that I won’t get nervous the next time I have to teach but at least I know I can do it.   I have talked to many education majors who all say they get nervous when talking in front of people. All of the teachers I have talked to said they were nervous too but when they are teaching in their own classroom they are fine.  Teachers say that they can talk in front of their students but if you ask them to talk in front of their colleagues that is when they get nervous. But why is this the case? Where do these nerves come from? Is it because we are afraid that our peers will look down on us if we make a mistake?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even with the nerves the hardest part of the day was not teaching but instead it was keeping people off their phones. This leads me to the next topic, technology. I had to go the entire school day with out my phone and yet these students can't go five minutes with out touching theirs. They also rely so much on calculators and their laptops to help them to get their work done. Now as far a calculators go I realize that some problems you need a calculator. However, I have seen students who need a calculator to do a simple addition or subtraction problem. Are they using a calculator because they want to make sure they are not wrong or do they really not know how to do it in their head?
As far as computers go I see the benefit. I love having Blackboard for school because I can get all of my documents in the same place for all of my classes. But I see assignments starting to be online, online quizzes, online tests, and more. When I become a teacher I don't want everything to be online. I don't want my students or even my own kids to be so attached to a computer screen rather then using pencil and paper. I hate that I am even attached to my computer because I feel like I never go outside anymore. As a teacher I want to make activities to do outside. I don't want my students to think the only way to learn math is either on a computer or by sitting at a desk and writing notes. As teachers it is our job to make students excited about learning and to get them engaged. Having them do everything on a computer does not get them engaged because most of the time they exit out of their assignment and play a game instead. So I have two questions for everyone reading this. First, when did technology become our focus for the classroom? Second, how are you going to balance technology use in your classroom?